Coming Back To My Senses
It has been brought to my attention that much of my writings of late have been a little preachy. Preaching has its uses, but surely the most important factor in any sort of preaching would be that the preacher embodies all of what he or she is saying. I’m hardly the best role model for Spiritual Saviour of the Century, so perhaps it’s time to put that particular mask aside.
A man can spout on about this exercise and that exercise, about this philosophy and that way of thinking, but if he doesn’t walk his talk then it’s just idle words and good intentions. A popular trait is one of projection, literally telling other people how to act and how to be so as to avoid making those changes in yourself. In that respect, if you do ever find yourself offering advice, it would be best to first see if you need to take it. This has certainly been my experience with the site of late, and indeed for all time, I have been writing to remind myself, to try to get myself to listen to the wisdom and advice that I already have inside.
Maybe then, I don’t need to write anything at all. With my webspace renewal coming up in a few days time, I certainly considered not paying it and bringing it all to an end. But, honestly, I’m not quite ready to put the whole site aside just yet, as I also have my comic hosted here, which I still draw and update regularly. What I might do, is transform this site into something else. So for now, I’ll leave you with this simple advice, which I’m applying myself right now.
Come back to your senses.
September 2nd, 2006 at 2:55 pm
h lewis
don’t get to discouraged preachy is something we all slip into sometimes 
i like your blog, and whether you decided to keep it on its own page (whcih as you have your comic strip hosted here seems sensible) or whether you go somewere free (opera is good ) i hope youfind away to share your thoughts with us all
love and peace
becca
September 3rd, 2006 at 10:49 am
Share my thoughts? My thoughts are exactly what get me into trouble in the first place!
Thank you for your positive words, becca, I don’t know about other writers and speakers and artists in general, but it makes all the difference to me to be acknowledged as having done something worth while, something which makes a positive difference.
I have in fact renewed the webspace, Q&V will continue as before, but I’m still not quite sure about this site here. Time will tell.
September 4th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Hey Lewis
Firstly thanks for the encouragement on the new blog, that was an unexpected way to log on for the day (cyborg that I have become).
Secondly thanks for the post below about mental pictures, I am struggling greatly (repeats *must not struggle, go with the flow* *must not…*) with self sabotaging thoughts and images lately. I almost feel like its as if my ego knows I’m about to f*#k it off altogether and fly and is trying its damndest to stuff that up before it eventuates.
Thirdly, thanks for the blog, which I ‘ve only just now noticed, so don’t quit yet!
Actually, scratch that. Do what you want and forget what others may want from you. I know that keeping a blog, especially a personal development blog, can become a pain in the arse after a while. Makes it hard to be a screw up.
September 5th, 2006 at 11:41 am
Firstly: No worries man. You’re welcome.
Secondly: Again, you’re welcome. In truth there are so many different exercises or practices out there, and I think it’s simply a case of learning a few and seeing what works for you. I myself think I’ve been studying this stuff long enough that I’ve got a collection that I work with often (call it my spiritual toolbox if you will), though I hope I’ll never stop learning new ones. Haha, the old ego problem? I’ve been suffering with similar things too, and I guess it’s only really when things are threatened that they resist, so stay with it Moose. The big learning point for me recently is that I got into difficulties from identifying too strongly with it (that is, the stream of inner monologue that goes on and on thinking and judging and criticizing). I made the mistake of believing that it was all of me, or at least the most important part (read that as trying to make the voice say only positive and useful things), when in actual fact it seems that the less attention I give to it, the more peaceful I feel - hence my spouting on about coming back to my senses, experiencing the moment rather than simply thinking about it. I wonder if actually there’s no need to change negative to positive, only to let go of negative and let the capsized ship right itself.
Thirdly: I hope you enjoy some of the back-reading of the blog in that case. Though it probably shows my own journey, and there’s a load of contradictory advice, it only takes one article to have been useful for the whole thing to have been useful - like harvesting from the countryside: take what you need and leave the rest.
Thanks for your encouragement, that’s two comments to keep it going now: my attention-seeking plan is working! Hahahahhaa.
Seriously though, it makes a difference, and certainly with new information comes the possibility of choosing differently, so, maybe rather than giving it up completely, a new style is in order. I’ll plant the seed and see what grows. And it seems you know well, writing this stuff and putting it out there does add pressure to be more accountable, which often helps with growth - get that fear of losing face working for you.