First admit you have a problem, and then never label yourself so negatively ever again.

If you are addicted to anything and it’s interferring with having a peaceful/enjoyable/fulfilling life, then the first step is of course admitting that you are addicted. Awareness is where all healing begins, because while we’re still in denial we have nothing to deal with (from our own limited viewpoint). Once we see it, we can take whatever action is necessary, be it joining a 12-step programme, making a conscious choice to refrain from something, or simply forgiving ourselves for whatever judgement we’ve put ourselves under.

But (and it’s a big butt in my opinion - cue jokes about someone’s inflated posterior…..). Er, what was I saying…?

Ah, right. But it’s really important not to label yourself negatively. It is easy to start defining yourself as your problem, until your problem is just as big a piece of you as your addiction was, and all you’ve really done is swap one attachment for another (though hopefully a slightly healthier one). “Hi, I’m Lewis, and I’m a chipaholic.” - You can see how that’s still keeping me a slave to something, like saying “do not think of a blue elephant“, and sure enough there you are thinking about it.

What we are really after when we give up addictions that cause us problems in life is freedom. And freedom exists without words, and without labels.

Well, it’s been a while since my last post, which looked like it could be the last, though I was still a little inconclusive about it.

Chatting with my good friend Rob, I realized that actually I do have a lot of say which could be of benefit to the world, things that people do need to hear. Whether they listen or not is up to them, and in a way is none of my business.

It suddenly became very apparent that I had been having one rule for myself and one for everyone else. I would never dare to say that someone shouldn’t speak unless they embody their words 100%, yet that was exactly what I was expecting of myself. Perfectionism is one of my most prominent flaws, and it has sapped my energy and my sense of fun and playful laughter more times than I can count. And the unflattering by-product of perfectionism? Control-freakism, and nothing turns someone into an unfeeling rigid funless creature than trying to be in control of everything with a vice-like grip, especially things that are meant to flow, like movements and emotions and thoughts, and even belief systems.
So, Rob and I figured it is time I started up journalling my journey again, for that’s really what this blog has always been about. I speak some wise words that sometimes I live up to and sometimes I don’t, but I no longer doubt that they can serve a purpose for anyone reading them, if they are so inclined to take something from them.

Don’t be too surprised if my style does change a bit, but I’ll let it unfold as it will, and whatever happens, it’ll be exactly as it needs to be.

It has been brought to my attention that much of my writings of late have been a little preachy. Preaching has its uses, but surely the most important factor in any sort of preaching would be that the preacher embodies all of what he or she is saying. I’m hardly the best role model for Spiritual Saviour of the Century, so perhaps it’s time to put that particular mask aside.

A man can spout on about this exercise and that exercise, about this philosophy and that way of thinking, but if he doesn’t walk his talk then it’s just idle words and good intentions. A popular trait is one of projection, literally telling other people how to act and how to be so as to avoid making those changes in yourself. In that respect, if you do ever find yourself offering advice, it would be best to first see if you need to take it. This has certainly been my experience with the site of late, and indeed for all time, I have been writing to remind myself, to try to get myself to listen to the wisdom and advice that I already have inside.

Maybe then, I don’t need to write anything at all. With my webspace renewal coming up in a few days time, I certainly considered not paying it and bringing it all to an end. But, honestly, I’m not quite ready to put the whole site aside just yet, as I also have my comic hosted here, which I still draw and update regularly. What I might do, is transform this site into something else. So for now, I’ll leave you with this simple advice, which I’m applying myself right now.

Come back to your senses.