The river rushes forth,
Unparalleled strength and power.
Yielding, flowing, engulfing,
Where will it run to?

We can choose how much energy flows through us. Mostly, we’re just a trickle. We waste our energy on worrying, overeating, repressing emotions, guilt, self-hate, regret, drugs, alcohol, overworking, overexercising, and we wonder why we’ve not got the energy to pursue our dreams and improve our lives, to be happy and healthy and harmonious, to be compassionate and expansive and mentally strong and flexible.

There are plenty of ways to improve this energy flow. We can increase that trickle to something much greater, a great rushing river the depth and breadth of the universe. But to really feel the benefits, we also need to create a route for the energy to travel to, one that is productive and beneficial and healthy and fun. Improving our energy levels and then using it up overeating or getting angry or overexercising is of little use. The trouble is, sometimes we don’t know what to do with this increased energy. We just don’t know where to direct it, and of course, we grow restless and angry as a result.

As holistic beings with many facets, it is obvious that when we change one thing we might imbalance the rest, and have to take steps to re-aligning ourselves once more in light of this new change. In the process of that, we must remember that the excess energy and restlessness themselves are not the enemy, the discomfort is just a build up as a river needs somewhere to flow into. Rather than turn down the tap (metaphorically), it’s better to find a suitable piping system to carry that energy out into the world, to create the river flowing through our projects and our dreams.

The blackbird sings,
I listen, and I hear.

Out walking this evening I heard a blackbird singing its evening song. I looked up, and saw it perched there on the roof of a house, head tilted up towards the sky, singing out to the air, and who knows, maybe out to the universe even.

Normally I would carry on my way. Yes, I hear the song a bit, but then I’m back into my thoughts and on towards wherever I’m heading. This time, something compelled me to stop. I stopped, watched, and really listened. It was beautiful. I heard notes I’d never really heard before. A depth and melody that is lost on me most of the time. I understand it now; it is the mind interrupting. I hear a blackbird singing, and my mind chips in “that’s a blackbird singing”, and then it’s lost to me. No longer do I hear it, but merely have an intellectual label about it. Any label is necessarily static, and so misses out on both subtlety and dynamics. If we watch ourselves, we will see how often we do this sort of thing when it comes to things we see, things we hear, and even the people that we know. Awareness is really the only solution to that. Awareness and being willing to be surprised, to be uncertain.

If you want to change your life, you must be willing to make some changes.

This is incredibly obvious, and yet it is something that few of us really take into consideration. There is a definition of insanity as repeating the same thing over and over and yet expecting different results. Similarly, it is insane to think that our lives can be the same as they are now, and also get better (which let’s face it, is what we all want in the end).

“I want to have more money”, you might say. Well, ok, what are you doing about it? Are you working? Are you seeking higher paying employment? Are you selling the things you no longer need or want? Are you entering competitions? In short, are you creating opportunities for the money you want to come in? Whether you believe life brings us what we ask for or not, if you don’t open to possibilities and opportunities, then what you want will cause you nothing but misery.

Pursuing a desire can be the most life-altering thing there is. It requires you to change constantly, to change what you believe about yourself and what is possible, to change your routine and your habits of thinking or moving or living. It is the path of growth, the arena of development and evolution.

But I want to stop there for a moment and tell you a story.

Being a barefoot man, or at least someone who spent a good deal of his time with his pink toes poking in the mud and picking up the street’s grime, footwear choices are quite high in my list of important things. I wouldn’t wear something just because it looked good if it was uncomfortable, and having spent so much time barefoot my idea of what is comfortable is probably quite different to many other people. My choice is no longer to be barefoot constantly, partly because I like the idea of being able to kick off dirty shoes rather than trample things around other people’s carpets or having to wash my feet before entering [a polite guest never leaves footprints, unless the floor's made of sand], and partly, because while there is nothing wrong with eccentricity, I got tired of it being an issue, with the shouts or funny looks (and now that it’s Summer again, the scalding hot tarmac). Whereas once I blazed a trail of what is possible, both physically and from a social point of view, I’d now rather fit in a bit more. Of course, if you catch me while I’m out running, or walking home afterwards, you’ll likely see me in bare feet. For good technique and low injury risk running, being barefoot is a must for me. So there are no hard and fast rules, nor need there be.

That said, because I thought maybe you’d find it interesting, I’ll get to the point. I was seeking some sandals to wear out and about walking, which fit me well, which had a flexible enough sole to allow me a natural walking movement, and which fixed to my feet in some way. This discounted a lot of the fashionable and mostly available things, as those chunky sandals have rigid soles, and thinner flip-flops mean you must shuffle along or grip them with your toes to keep them on your feet. Either way, unsuitable for my requirements. I wanted something different, but what was I doing about it?

Very little, as it turned out. I wanted it, I believed in it, and yet I made only half-hearted attempts to look on the internet or to look in some of the very local shoe shops that I knew about. Today, however, I roamed. I got into my Dad’s van, and I drove wherever the feeling took me. “Ah, left here? Sure, why not? Now, right this time?” And on and on, just going wherever came to mind with no specific agenda. I drove past a running shoe shop I didn’t know existed. I checked it out, and though I didn’t find anything suitable, I learned about some running events coming up, and a few other things. On I went, and this time I drove past a whole load of new shops, a little retail park thing, and there checked out a camping shop, and then a shoe shop there.

Success! I found a great sandal for me. And I even got it at a discounted price through a price sticker error. My feet are a little different to each other in size, so they aren’t a perfect fit, but very close, and they are a big step up from my previous sandals. It’s likely I’ll need to seek custom made options to get real perfect fits, but for now, this gives me excellent comfort, freedom of movement, a natural walking way, and, cool toes.

So there we have it. By doing something other than what is usual for me, by becoming open to new possibilities, I achieved my desire, and as well as being very enjoyable, it has and will change my life for the better, which is all I really wanted.

I thought it about time to come up with a better system of categorizing the posts here at abarefootman.co.uk. Given the amount of posts there are, and looking at the categories, I decided I could do better. So, watch this space as the categories change and posts get filed away into appropriate sections. Change is good, development is good.

After a brief darkening of the sky, the rain came down suddenly. I made a mad dash out into the garden, and brought the washing in from the line. That taken care of, I stopped.

Ahhhhhhh. After a few really hot days here, this was such a welcome relief. The rain poured, and I stood outside in it, enjoying the natural shower, shivering slightly, but enjoying it.

BANG! KA-POW!

No, I hadn’t been transported into the Batman TV show, it was thunder. Startled, my muscles tensed, my neck shortened and shoulders hunched to bring my body into a more protective-defensive stance. I instinctively ducked for cover, rushing to the backdoor. It was enough to stand there, still outside, but with some shelter and the knowledge that with one step I’d be in the (perhaps illusory) safety of inside.

Lightning flashed, thunder boomed. I found myself genuinely scared, the forks of lightning were close, the difference between the sight and the sound minimal. I could not help but be humbled, made to feel insignificant, even, by the awesome power of nature.

The heavens poured down, the roof-tiles and house walls shuddered from the energy and sound of the lightning, surely only a matter of metres away rather than miles. Inside, I felt safer, and although frightened was also exhilerated by what was happening. I looked out of the window, watching the lightning flash all around. My cat, despite being all but deaf, could sure as hell hear this racket. As much as I wanted to witness this spectacular display, I comforted my cat instead. I may not be able to see the forks of lightning, I figured, but I can sure hear and feel what’s going on. I don’t think I can remember a time when my awareness has been so affected by the environment, it was everywhere and it was all I could think about, all I wanted to think about. This was no time for pretending it wasn’t happening. This was amazing.

The rain eased off, and the birds began singing. I had great compassion for the birds and the bugs outside, I had my house as shelter, and what did they have? But who do you suppose had the strongest experience? Thunder could still be heard in the distance, but the worst was over. The birds knew what to do better than I, or so I assume. When the storm passes, get out there and sing and celebrate at the earliest opportunity. That’s what they do.

Looking at the clouds afterwards, I saw clouds swirl and grow above me. As far as I saw it, it was two separate storms that hit, both crossing and joining overhead. I’ve never seen such cloud movement as I did afterwards, growing in seconds, bits swirling and joining themselves, it was as if the whole scene was compressed in time, what usually takes hours happening in seconds.

The sun came out, and things returned to a more peaceful way. The storm had truly passed, and now it was nothing more than a distant memory. This is the way all storms are, but when we are inside them, there is no denying the power of them. In those real moments, instinct takes over, the ego faced with such a greater power than itself in front of it.

It took me quite a while to relax afterwards. Even as I write this, my pulse is quickened, my breathing slightly more rapid and shallow than at rest. The storm shook things up, it cleared the air, and reminded me just how massive some powers are in the universe, and how small I am in comparison. Excited and afraid, I enjoyed myself immensely.

Ah, the baby aloe has grown into an infant. Its big leaves with pointy spikes resemble its parent’s very closely now, and those first two leaves it had (which I guessed were quick to grow and done so for the purposes of getting in sunlight energy as soon as possible) have now started to die off, no longer needed. Truly, they have served their purpose and now no longer fit with the plant it is becoming, so they can be released.

What wonderful lesson has nature provided us this time? I didn’t know when I started writing this post, but I see it clearly now. It is perfectly fine for us to have stabilizers on our bicycles when we first start off learning, and it is perfectly fine for us to rely on ways of keeping our confidence levels up while we take those first tentive pedals along in learning a new skill or beginning a new project.

As things progress, we will grow more experienced and skilled and be able to take off those stabilizers, affording us better movement and an image that is in better keeping with the talented person we have become. Just so, we might initially rely on someone else’s council, but as we grow confident in our own abilities we can rely instead on our own council. We can remember and appreciate their help in the beginning, the part they played in helping us to become who we are today. This is the cycle of things: nothing fixed, only temporary, and there is nothing wrong or bad with that.

The moon, so full;
It punctuates my evening.

It has been a night of family and friends and love, and I am reminded that although the moon may seem far away, it is actually no distance at all.