After Conflict, Peace
Two birds atop a tree;
First fighting,
Then singing.
Arguments exist in life. People clash. Animals clash. Plants do battle above and below the soil. Waves crash against chalky cliffs. The very surface of the earth clashes together, causing earthquakes and creating mountains. There is nothing wrong with conflict. It is part of the dynamics of life.
We learn a great deal from our conflicts. The clashes of ego and opinion that we have with each other, if we remain aware, can lead to much learning. Disagreements challenge our thoughts, beliefs and behaviour like peace never could.
But just as a life of never being challenged is imbalanced, so too is being in constant conflict. After conflict, peace must be restored. Swans and ducks may squabble from time to time, but as soon as it is over they flap their wings, clear away the tension, and then glide along in the water once more, the epitome of peace. This is the way it is with all animals, and also certain native peoples. They may fight, but when it is over, they return again to peace. They live now, and know how to let go.
This same principle is important in our everyday lives. Any movement we make requires tension, but once the movement is over, we can relax again once more. The better able we are to do this, the greater the sense of balance and overall joy we will feel. Athletes push their bodies hard, but when it is over most of them stretch and relax, lest they carry that tension into the rest of their day and don’t give themselves chance to recover and repair their muscles. Similarly, when we argue with one another, and do so openly and honestly, as soon as the argument is over we can take a long breath out, let go of our tension and return again to peace. If we dwell upon it, keep resentments, or continue to bring it up every time we interact, then we will be sapped of our joy and our relationships will lose the possibility of intimacy that can only come from dealing with people as they are now and not as a stale image of the past.
Argue, disagree by all means, but don’t hold a grudge. Forgive, and move on. We are all much so more than a careless word or deed, it only takes looking in the openness of now to see it.
May 29th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Ah indeed so bud! Conflict has but a limited use, for all things! Too little and you grow complacent, too much and you grow neurotic!
I love how the post seems to drift between defending conflict and warning against too much though, little teaching to yourself in there?
May 29th, 2006 at 8:10 pm
Hehe, ah, I always write to teach myself bud! And yeah, reading it back again it has just the right feel to it, a pendulum-like back and forth between the positions, exactly the sort of yin-yang feel that I believe conflict and peace are all about.